The Cure for a Headache

"Come here," he says.

But I am in a snit and not feeling very much like listening. "It's okay," I huff. "Maybe tomorrow, maybe this weekend?"

It's growing dark out, early evening and I have to leave the house soon or I will be late. I was promised some afternoon kink. I was promised a much needed spanking. I waited and waited. I was patient. Until I wasn't. And then I was just annoyed. I even started getting a headache. Maybe from gritting my teeth.

"Close the curtains and come over here." This time more affirmative. More of a command than a statement. It does perk me up a bit, make my pulse quicken. But I'm still not feeling very agreeable.

"But we don't have to. I have a little headache. It's getting late," I protest. Because really, why be easy? He could have had easy all day.

"I said, come over here."

Oh. Apparently we aren't messing around. I know in the back of my head if I really protest and really put him off, he will not argue. He will let it go. But maybe that isn't what I want. Why push my luck?

"Should I go get something?" I ask, referring to an implement. Maybe a paddle or something.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, so you don't have to use your hand." All of a sudden I'm trying to make this easy, maybe worried I won't get the spanking I really want.

"I got this," is his only reply, then he gives me the 'what are you waiting for' look.

A little zing of excitement shoots through me. I get up and close the curtains. I walk over to where he sits. Maybe he'll give me a cuddle. Maybe we'll just kiss and touch and be close. But his fingers grab at my waist band, he pulls my pants and panties down in one motion.

I let out a surprised giggle. What brought this on? He roughly pulls me over his lap and I am still trying to find a comfortable position when the smacks begin to fall. Hard.

I try to stay still. You know, my old habit of keeping still and making no noise so as to not stop the spanking. #thingsyoudowithnonspankohusbands

But he really isn't letting up and he's not slowing down. "Ahh, ow!" I finally call out. Bracing myself for the end, kicking myself that I could have taken more. But he still doesn't stop leaving me slightly miffed and a lot turned on. 

I kick my legs out straight behind me, pointing my toes. I wrap my arms around a throw pillow and try to find something to concentrate on. I call out again and list to the side, this time he stops. Gives me a gentle caress over my burning ass before he starts playing with me with his fingers. 

Having been on the edge all day, it doesn't take much effort before I am almost there, but then his fingers are gone. WTF? But then he's spanking again. It doesn't hurt so much now as it stokes the flames. As if I weren't like a cat in heat before, I am pretty much about to come just from this spanking.

I'm laying in a puddle on the floor when he's finally done with me. Or so I thought he was done with me.

"You want to suck my cock?"

I am almost salivating at the thought. So I do suck his cock, and I do reach another orgasm. And oddly enough my headache disappeared...

That was better than pouting and taking an Advil. But really, next time, do we need to make me wait so long?

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Things I Learned~ Winter Edition

Remember when I started that thing where I was posting what I learned every month? You don't? Yeah, I did it like twice... and since then I have started this post no less than 3 times. So now you get a "Things I Have Learned, Winter Edition"!

It encompasses the 3 months of winter (do not judge me- it's been a long, cold, lonely winter). Today happens to be the first day of spring. It is cold and snowy in these parts- I think Mother Nature needs a spanking.

Good Bye Winter! Hello, Spring!

I feel a little lame I could only think of 5 things for three months, but like I said- it's been rough and my brain may have frozen for a while.

1. You should watch your DVR recordings in a timely manner.

It seems like something small and inconsequential, until your DVR craps out and takes with it an entire season of Top Chef you were saving and three movies you had yet to get to. In the grand scheme of things, not the biggest deal, but still annoying enough to ruin your day.

2. I take a lot of pictures of my cats and my boobs.

Maybe it isn't something I 'learned' I'm sure I knew this is all I take pictures of. Sometimes the cats are doing the cutest things and sometimes I just need to take a new one of the girls to text to Mr. McKay. But then when your cell phone that you have had for far longer than a cell phone should live (six years, to be exact) decides to die and you need to delete your pics to send back to the insurance company it becomes scarily evident that you have turned into some sort of kinky cat lady who has nothing else to document in life. 

3. The cold will kill your car battery.

So I found out at about 6am one below zero morning. Thank god Mr. McKay works from home and I could take his truck. Also thankful that my brother works at an auto parts store and knows all about these car things. But still- this was a completely and utterly unwanted lesson in science at a very inopportune time.

(Has anyone noticed a theme of my winter? Creepy, right?)

4. Sometimes you think you know people.

Mr. McKay and I have had a group of friends for a really long time now. You would think after such a long time you would know people- or they would know you. But they still surprise me sometimes. Once in a while one of them will do or say something that makes me think "What the hell planet are you from?"

It leads me to wonder what they will eventually think when it comes out that I have been writing erotic romance and we've been publishing it. I waiver between thinking they will all be shocked, to they suspected all along. After all I am the kinky friend you direct all of you butt plug questions to, how much more of a stretch is penning smut?

5. It's really hard to stay positive all the time.

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I did make a promise to myself to try to stay more positive this year. People who know me thought this was a little crazy because I am by nature an optimist. I have always been a glass half full kind of girl and I do like to think everything happens for a reason, even the bad stuff. But having a positive outlook doesn't necessarily mean I'm always positive about everything. I have lots of negative thoughts all day: I'll never get everything done. I can't do this. This will never happen. This is going to be the worst day ever. 

I thought maybe if I started eliminating these things from my everyday dialogue then I really would develop a more healthy attitude. It has worked in some aspects. But I find there are still a lot of times I just have too much to do, and I'm tired, and there aren't enough hours in the day! And maybe that is normal. I have stopped saying 'I can't' and am working more on 'I'll try' so maybe one day I will get to that place where I am not complaining about anything. I am being positive about that one ;)

That wraps up my lame 5 things. I was going to list "I hate cold weather" but it's not really anything new. I am so ready to move to a tropical island at this point.

Did any of you learn anything new lately? Please share!

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Everyone Goes Home a Winner

Mr. McKay took me out for a fun night on Friday. We went to one of the bars we frequent and they were hosting a Sex Toy Bingo night. It was very cool, they had it all set up with long tables like a Bingo hall. It was just a fun and laid back vibe. The prizes for each round were different sex toys ranging from the ridiculous (inflatable sheep with penetrable orifices) to the practical (a rabbit vibrator).

We arrived after Bingo already started so we ended up settling towards the back in an out of the way spot. We were sipping on our drinks listening to the "fun facts" one of the hosts kept sharing throughout the game (Did you know white women who have college degrees are more likely to partake in anal sex than other women? Neither did I, but it explains a lot about me. Also I have no idea if any of these facts were true.) and they announce the prize for the next round: a strap on!

Mr. McKay nearly spits his drink, he looks at me and says, "Well, we don't need that."

Of course we don't need that, we wouldn't have needed an inflatable sheep either, but it's Bingo. It's a game! And I want to win! 

I really wasn't trying to win. I was half listening to the numbers being called out and half carrying on a conversation with the hubs when I look down and realize I need one more number to make Bingo. My palms get a little sweaty, I can almost taste the victory. And that is when I realize that I am a competitive asshole. It really does not matter what I'm playing, what the prize is, or even if there is a prize- I want to WIN!

I'm about to ask Mr. McKay if I should bother claiming the prize if I win- I mean maybe someone else had their heart set on that strap on- when the number I need is called. I freeze. I give Mr. McKay a wide eyed look and he immediately yells at me to scream Bingo and go claim my prize. And that is the moment I realized that he likes to win just as much as I do- which means he gets me, but also explains why playing Mario Baseball nearly ends up with us in divorce court because he always picks that stupid whore Princess Daisy who can hit home runs without even trying, but I digress.

I end up shooting from my chair and screaming BINGO! so loud that the entire bar turns and looks in my direction. The hosts wave me up towards the stage where they are holding my prize. Suddenly I feel like my face is engulfed in flames, did I really just get up in front of a room of people to gleefully accept my strap on?? They hand me my prize and sex fact lady tells me if I have a special man then I can participate in some "pegging" then she's all, "Do you know what that is?" Uh, yeah, I know what that is.

The walk back to my seat is a little surreal as I hold my prize proudly in front of me. Mr. McKay is doubled over in laughter, but is sure to tell everyone who ends up talking to us that this is in no way going anywhere near him. He even goes as far as to add that we are going to give it to our friend who is getting married for a gag gift. He's already giving my prize away!!

I emailed Aubrey Cara when I got home and mentioned my big win. I also told her how Mr. McKay was equal parts amused and horrified. She told me I should wave it at him while I shake a bottle of sleeping pills and tell him to "Sleep well".

Genius! I cracked up. Mr. McKay also thought it was funny, but gave me a leery look.

The next morning we get up and we're cleaning the house for the St. Patrick's Day party we are throwing, when I realize in my haste to get inside last night I left the strap on laying on the backseat of my car! Not sure how many of my neighbors saw that in our communal parking lot, but let me tell you this, walking around with a strap on at 1am is entirely different than it is at 11am when you're trying to dart into the house in broad daylight.

I get into the house without being seen (I think) and I tell Mr. McKay I'm going to take it upstairs so our party guests with young children don't have to have uncomfortable conversations. Then I linger at the bottom of the stairs and kind of wave it around and say, "I'm going to put it on your pillow." I raise my eyebrows suggestively. 

I turn to run before he can retaliate, but not before he yells out, "If I find sleeping pills by my pillow you're in trouble!"

That gives me pause. What kind of trouble I wonder? And I can't get the silly grin off my face for the rest of that day. Because, after all, I am a big winner!

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Pushing Limits in a BDSM Scene~ A Guest Post

I have Renee Rose/Darling Adams over today! I'm going to turn it over to her because she has a great article and a yummy excerpt to share!

I’d like to talk about pushing a submissive to her/his limits today.  

I believe a good dominant should be in touch enough with their submissive that they would not require a safe word (that doesn’t mean I don’t think a safe word shouldn’t be arranged!).  Safe words are especially necessary for couples who are scening together for the first time, or don’t know each other well enough yet. But I would hope, even in that situation, the dominant would tune in to his or her submissive and sense their level of pleasure, pain, anxiety and desire.

Obviously, with my husband, we have years and years of history, but even when we were brand spanking (heh) new to BDSM, I never had to safeword. If I’m in handcuffs and I start turning my wrist, he understands immediately that it’s too tight. He’s looking for signs of discomfort--the wrong kind of discomfort, not the belt across my ass kind. :)

To me, the richest area of BDSM is riding that line between too much and not enough. It’s exploring limits and pushing them. It’s demanding things a sub isn’t yet comfortable with, but will try for her/his dominant. Fear/tension only increases the hot factor in a scene, so getting to that edge increases the power of the release, when it comes.

In Punishing Portia, David is an experienced dom working with the slave he just bought from a charity slave auction. They happen to have a bit of a history together--she just reamed his new restaurant in a review, attacking his character. Now, he’s interested in making her beg for forgiveness. In this scene, he’s placed her in a cage. Up to this point, she hasn’t been sure whether he knows she’s the one who wrote the article. Now it just became clear, and she is genuinely freaking out.

Here’s how he handles it:

Portia lay inches away from safe-wording. Tension rolled off her in waves as she shifted around in the cage. He pretended to be going about his business nonchalantly, unpacking both their bags, but the truth was, she had him sweating. He didn’t want her to use her safe word--not theirs, and especially not the Castle’s. He prided himself on handling his subs with the kind of awareness that prevents the need to even have a safe word. And the last thing he wanted was to lose the slave for whom he’d just paid four thousand dollars. But it went deeper than the money. It went deeper, even than revenge. Despite the insurmountable issue of the review, they had chemistry. Real dom/sub chemistry that is hard to come by. He’d never had it with anyone to this degree, and the thought of losing it made him itchy.

But he also didn’t want to let her out, especially when she demanded it. If he did, he’d lose all respect as a dom.

“May I take my boots off?” she wheedled.

“No,” he answered without turning.

She moved around--sitting, coming back to her knees, wrapping her fingers through the bars of her doggy-jail.

“Please...I have to pee. You have to let me out,” she begged.

He ignored her.

Portia shifted position in the cage, doing an about-face to watch him. Judging from the crackle of tension in the air, she was about to lose it.

He opened his mouth to let her know she only had five minutes left when she burst out, “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry about the review. It was mean-spirited, even if it was all true!”

Her mention of the review hardened him, even as her apology came as a relief. He walked swiftly toward the cage and opened it. “Come,” he said curtly, beckoning with his hand. When she’d crawled out and stood, he pointed his finger toward the floor at his feet. “Stay.”

She wore a wary look, but she obeyed.

He grabbed a flogger and a wad of tissue and stuffed them in his back pocket. Taking her coat from the hanger on the back of the door, he held it out for her.

She looked at him, confused, then lowered to her knees and licked his hand.

“You may speak.”

“I, uh, really do have to pee.”

“I know,” he said impatiently, shaking the coat he held for her. “That’s why I’m taking you out.”

Punishing Portia by Darling Adams (Renee Rose)

When well-known chef and restaurateur David Marone recognizes the food critic who just lambasted him in a review on the charity auction block, he bids an inordinate amount to keep her as his slave for three nights. He remembers the haughty foodie from culinary school seventeen years earlier, and relishes the idea of getting even with her for her mean-spirited review.

Portia Sands hopes the dark and gorgeous Chicago chef who won the bid for her at the Castle charity auction doesn’t know her real identity as the food critic who tore him apart in a review the week before. She finds he hasn’t changed since culinary school--still arrogant, over-confident and domineering. Unfortunately, he has the same effect on her now as he did then: reducing her to a trembling mass of jello.

When he pushes her to her limits, placing her in a cage like a pet, she discovers he knows who she is, and means to exact revenge. She considers calling the Castle safeword to end their time together, but some part of her won’t allow it. Somehow she must survive three nights as his slave and keep her heart in the process.

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Renee Rose / Darling Adams is a naughty author and kinkster who loves writing about hot alpha males, Dominance/submission and power exchanges. Named Eroticon USA's Next Top Erotic Author in 2013, her books are all centered around kink. She can be found on:

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Sleep Crimes

I was thinking about something today. I was thinking about how it can be a completely unnatural thing to learn to sleep with someone when you have not shared your sleeping space with another soul in your entire life. 

Even now, Mr. McKay and I have been living in the same space for about six years, and before that we shared a bed quite often. But it seems we still can't get the sleeping arrangement thing to be completely copacetic. 

I'm a cuddler, I like to be close. But I am also a light sleeper and the husband is a tosser and turner. He also doesn't like to cuddle. This problem is easily solved because we have three cats so I am never at a lack of someone to cuddle with, but occasionally I do creep over to his side of the bed and intertwine my limbs with his. It always ends up waking me up because I inevitably get jostled when he starts his nighttime acrobatics routine.

Our other problem is he stays up later than I do, so most nights by the time he has made his way to bed I have already taken over most of the real estate. Apparently in my 20 some odd years of sleeping alone I decided settling in a diagonal manner across the bed was the only way to sleep. This proves to be difficult for one's husband to then wrestle his way into the queen sized bed that his lovely queen has now claimed for herself. Normally he can just poke me, or bounce the mattress and I will awaken enough to get back over to my own side, pull a cat close and fall back to sleep.

Last night was a different story. We were in the car today and I am thinking about a conversation I thought I remembered happening in the darkened shadows of our bedroom. But sometimes I am not quite sure if I dreamt something or if it actually happened.  I'm trying to sort this out when I turn to him and ask, "Was I trying to cuddle up with you last night?"

He scoffs in my general direction and takes his eyes off the road enough to roll his eyes at me. "No! You were taking up the whole bed, I couldn't even get in, and you wouldn't move."

I laugh at this, but apparently it isn't funny as he shoots me another glare. "I was sleeping!" I protest. "You should have just woke me up."

"I tried to! I shook you and moved your arm and tried to slide in next to you, but you elbowed me!" He says this with such outrage that I burst into giggles. Like it was such an offense to him that I elbowed him in my sleep.

"I'm sure I didn't mean to elbow you," I say, trying to smooth over the situation. 

He scoffs and shakes his head again. But this does explain why in the middle of the night I woke up to him calling me ridiculous. Apparently I was involved in some heavy sleep combat.

I just reminded him that maybe he should get to bed earlier and give me some proper cuddles before I drift off to sleep. He had no comment to that, because he knows I'm right.

Does anyone else have this problem sharing a bed? One of us is usually stealing the covers, snoring, or not obeying boundaries. Throw in a few cats and its a wonder anyone sleeps in this house!

I remember when I was younger my dad's aunt who had been married and divorced a few times said she wanted to meet a man she would like to spend the rest of her life with. But she wanted them to have enough money that they could have separate wings of a house. Because she didn't need him up in her business all the time. I still think this is pretty funny, I like having my husband next to me, I can't sleep when he isn't there. 

Plus, if he's in a different wing then I would really have to plan out sexy time! No sleepy, half awake sex just because you're both there and willing. It isn't the most romantic of times, but sometimes the spontaneity is my favorite!

So what's your take on sleeping in the same bed? Does it get any easier?

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Bound by the Summer Prince~ New Paranormal/Fantasy Romance

I have a new friend over today, Mistral Dawn! She has a new fantasy/paranormal book out called Bound by the Summer Prince (the blurb has a warning at the bottom and that always means good things!). She stopped by to give us an excerpt, so I won't take up any more time and I will let her take it away!

This excerpt is when Roni first starts to accept that she is in Fairie and learns about the magical bond that has formed between the Summer Prince and herself:

She was just contemplating leaving her comfortable chair, and disturbing the occupant of her lap, when the door opened and Uaine walked in. "I have questions for you."

"I would be disappointed if you did not." said Uaine, as he gently closed the door and walked over to take a seat across the table from his Anamchara.

Roni felt uneasy in the man's presence, and when she felt uneasy she always defaulted to aggression. "Why are you holding me prisoner?"

"You are not a prisoner..."

"Then can I leave?" She interrupted.

Uaine took a settling breath. "I will explain everything to you in a moment, but first: is there anything you need?"

"I need my stuff back."

"We will also discuss your belongings momentarily. Jillian mentioned that you had requested a dressmaker?"

"No, I told her I want my clothes back."

Sighing, Uaine prepared for the difficult conversation he knew he needed to have with his Anamchara. It was obvious she was not inclined to make it any easier. Not that her strength of will was a bad thing, in the long run, she'd need it to properly fulfill her duties as queen; but just at that moment he wished for a little less strength, and a little more willingness to be open-minded. At any rate, delay would make it no easier.

"First, Jillian said she told you that you are no longer in the human world, is that correct?"

Roni looked at him warily. "She told me some cockamamie story about being in some magical fairy-land, yeah."

"But you do not believe this is true?"

"It's impossible!"

"Perhaps it may seem that way, humans do not seem to believe in the Fae as they used to, but are there not things you have seen that you cannot explain? Have you not witnessed wonders that do not exist in the human world?"

Roni considered his words. She knew that she couldn't continue to put off thinking about all of the strange things she couldn't explain. Eventually she was going to have to deal with the fact that what she was experiencing didn't make sense under the rules she was used to, or in the world she knew. In the forest she had decided to treat everything as if it were real, on the off chance that it was, because she'd thought that would increase her odds of survival. It seemed as though using the same mental trick now might be a good idea.

She still wasn't entirely convinced that she wasn't dreaming, or hallucinating, or even dead; but she needed to be able to function, and the only way she could think of to do that was to act as though she truly had, somehow, been transported to a mythical world. If she operated under that assumption, it would free her mind to focus on other matters (like how to get back home) and allow her to respond to events and people in her normal, cautious manner. She resolved that she wouldn't fully accept the notion, but her actions would, for the time being, be based on that premise.

"Alright, then how did I get here?"

"You do not remember?"

"I remember falling and then waking up in a jungle."

"You must have somehow encountered a portal that had opened. Normally they require a spell to open them, but occasionally they will open on their own; only the goddess knows why or how. You were not alone when you reached Fairie."

"No, I was being chased by four men. They were all killed."

Uaine took a relieved breath. If his Anamchara was not lying to him, he at least did not have to worry about more humans running around his kingdom armed with cold iron. "Yes, the forests of Fairie are perilous. It was only your possession of human-forged, cold iron which allowed you to escape unscathed."

"What do you mean 'human-forged, cold iron'?"

"There is an item in your bag made from such a substance. It is an anathema to all Fae and protected you in the forest. However, it is very dangerous. I would like to return your possessions to you, including this item, but I must know that you will only use it to defend yourself. I cannot allow you to have it if you will use it to harm my people."

"Well there's no trouble then, I won't be around your people because I'll be going home."

He sighed. "That is another thing we must speak of. You cannot leave Fairie. This would be true regardless of any other circumstances, one of our oldest and most sacrosanct laws is to never allow humans with knowledge of Fairie to return to the human world, but it is especially true because a bond has formed between you and me."

She raised her eyebrow and gave him a dry look. "A bond?"

"Yes." He took a deep breath. "The great mother goddess created a magical bond which forms between two individuals when they have found their perfect match, their soul-mate. We call this bond the Siorghra and our mates are called Anamchara. The Siorghra is recognized and held sacred by all Fae throughout all of Fairie. It is inviolable and unbreakable."

Blurb:

The Summer Court is in an uproar. The king has just been executed for unpardonable crimes, and the queen is prostrate with grief over his loss. This leaves the Summer kingdom bereft of true leadership; a problem which is compounded by the fact that the laws of Fairie require balance to be maintained by having a male and a female ruler for both Season Courts at all times. Uaine, the Summer prince, is the only one who can put things right, but he is without a mate. Knowing that he must take a bride quickly, for the sake of his people, even though he is struggling with his own feelings of pain and anger over his father's treachery, he goes for a walk in a forest near the palace to try to clear his head and determine how best to choose a female to rule beside him. 
While walking Uaine discovers a human female running loose in Fairie, which is against the most basic tenets of Fae law. Furious at one more problem he must deal with, he takes her prisoner and locks her in the dungeon; only to discover later that she is his soul-mate. The magical bond between them means they are meant to be together forever, but humans can't feel the magic of Fairie. Will Uaine be able to win her heart and convince her that she can trust him to keep her safe from all the dangers of Fairie...including himself? 
Roni is a human con woman and petty thief. Having run afoul of the local crime syndicate in the city where she is staying, she finds herself running for her life. Trouble is no stranger to her, but when she falls through a hole in a wall and finds herself in a world with carnivorous trees and rocks that eat people she realizes she may have found more of it than she can deal with. Rescued/arrested by the prince of the Summer Court, it doesn't take long for her to formulate a plan to use him to get herself home. Unfortunately for her, she soon finds that her heart, which she had thought long ago turned to stone, has begun to feel the love she has been playing at. Will she be able to overcome a lifetime of caution and allow herself to follow her heart? Can a criminal love a cop? 
Please be aware that this book contains explicit sexual scenes, depictions of BDSM, and anal play. If these things disturb you, then this may not be the book for you.

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