Welcome back for another edition of Round Table Discussion, brought to you by Spanking Romance, a place where we like to discuss spanking hot topics!
This week we are hosted by Katherine Deane, who came up with the topic: The Vanilla Spouse: What happens when your significant other does not share your fetish?
I think it is fair to say that my husband would not be considered vanilla by anyone's standards, but I can relate when we are talking about not sharing fetishes.
Spanking has definitely been my interest-- for forever. Him? Not so much.
I remember how I felt like it was this big deal to confess my kink to him and he was like "okay." That was it, no big deal, he'd obviously heard of spanking in a kinky way before and he really didn't think it was all that out of the ordinary.
I don't think he realized at the time how all encompassing it was. I think he gets it a little more now (because I never shut up, and will tell him every little thing running through my head).
He gets how much I like spanking, but he doesn't 'get' it. He will tell me as much.
I have also learned that if I really want to try something I have to suggest it and then stop talking about it. He says no to everything the first time I bring it up.
"You want me to hit you with what? No."
"You want to do what with ginger? No."
Normally if I can supply him with links and he can research a little he is more receptive.
He said that spanking me turns him on because it turns me on, but it has nothing to do with the actual act of spanking for him. I can live with that.
I was trying to think if there was any kink he could have that I would say no to trying. I honestly cannot think of anything. If I knew it was something he really wanted to do I would try anything once, or twice.
I think it's good to experiment, live a little, and indulge your partner's crazy once in a while. It helps when you trust each other and you can keep an open mind.
Please go visit all the other Round Table Participants this time around.
You always raise a smile on my face. Indulge your partner's crazy! I love it. And I agree with you. The kinks won't always be the same, but it does help if both have kinks of some sort, as at least each will kind of get the other.
ReplyDeleteSpanking is a funny one, because you are asking your partner to do exactly what they were brought up being told not to do! And it brings pain to the person they love. But if it means they get their kinks too, that sure adds incentive!
I really enjoyed your post, Casey.
Thanks, Tara! I am glad I can make you smile. And you are right, it goes completely against everything we were raised to believe- don't hurt other people, don't inflict pain on someone else.
ReplyDeleteI think it helps to have an open mind!
I love how your hubby will research and go along with your desires! That is so cool, Casey :)
ReplyDeleteYou guys have fantastic communication!
:)
Thanks for sharing with us!
I love your posts :)
Yes, my husband feels the same way. He knows it's my on button and he says we'll never go back, but it's not his kink. Being a true alpha, he did not accept any links, etc, but I've been thrilled to realize he's done quite a bit of research on his own, without ever revealing it until much later.
ReplyDeleteI think 'no' is a common response to new kinks from a lot of people. I"ll admit it is for me too. I usually have to 'think about it', 'ponder it for awhile' before I'm all, "hmm, that sounds kind of fun."
ReplyDeleteI think we're married to the same man. Mine too needs time to process. He doesn't say no outright the first time but it takes him some time and then he'll just do whatever it is and sometimes it freaks me out. Also the part where you'd try his kink out - we have the same. He is happy to spank me as I'm most aroused then but he doesn't think he has anything special he'd like to try. I'm good with that - he can indulge my crazy! :) I think we have good husbands.
ReplyDeleteI love your comment about links, Casey. I actually have to find porn that shows whatever to show my Master, if we haven't already tried it. I tried links with maintenance spanking- oh that was a riot. "How is this any different than what we already do?"
ReplyDeleteI love that he has to research things, we all seem to have these logical men that have to research and process and more research and plan. Your husband sounds so sweet!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kate, he is my resident researcher!
ReplyDeleteRenee- he won't actually tell me he's looked at the links, and he does the same, will just surprise me with stuff out of the blue.
Thianna- I think you're right. I think it's part of not understanding and being afraid of something new. Nothing wrong with taking some time to think about it.
Natasha- We do have good husbands. We will have to try to get them in the same room some day to make sure they are actually different people :)
Joelle- Links to porn is a good idea too! I think they don't like not understanding, so examples help.
Megan- The logical men and their impulsive women? Sounds like a good spanking romance novel :)
Great topic, Casey, and you make a good point about allowing a partner to get used to an idea. No, might be no at first, but it can become a yes.
ReplyDeleteHey at least your husbands are receptive to it and give it a try for you. I asked my first husband and he'd give me some smacks on the ass when we were having sex, but that's about it. :P
ReplyDeleteI picture you and Mr. McKay having a lot of laughs together which is very sweet. Maybe I'll ask my husband if he wants me to indulge his crazy. That's a great phrase.
ReplyDelete