Get Your Nerd On

Big news! I am hosting The Spanking Stories Book Club over at Celeste Jones' this Friday.

I love book club. I love getting my nerd on over there, and now I get to host. Woohoo! I am drunk with power!

Anyway, we are talking about Natasha Knight's Aching to Submit so if you have not read it yet- buy it now!

I read it this past fall when it came out and this is what I had to say about it:

Sophie is married to Michael, and he adores her. She loves him and she knows how much he loves her, but she is left wanting more. She fantasizes about submitting herself to a dominant man. She even goes so far as to visit a BDSM club, alone, to see if she can rid herself of her desire. Sophie is on a journey, one she thinks she has to go alone. Michael is hurt that she never shared her secret. Now that Sophie has lied and hidden things from her husband, is it too late for them to continue on this journey together?

Natasha Knight does a superb job in delving into the story of a woman who is letting herself explore her need of submission. I've read a lot of spanking fiction, and a lot of the time the spanking in the relationship is established before the story starts, or one of the characters is into the lifestyle and it is quickly established from the beginning "this is what happens". Aching to Submit starts from the very beginning- the emotional first conversations between a couple starting to explore a possible relationship in a D/s lifestyle. It struck all kinds of chords for me, it made me emotional, it made me root for Michael and Sophie to find their way, it also made me pretty hot. But that was expected!

I think this book is relatable for any person who has ever felt like they had to keep a part of them hidden away. Opening yourself up and making yourself vulnerable to the person you cherish most in your life is a scary thing- Natasha did a great job demonstrating that.

And now, a treat, an excerpt! I think this part clearly demonstrates all of the conflicting emotions Sophie is having. Sophie has come to the BDSM club, L'Opera, and is just about to be confronted by the club's owner, Kyan, who has taken her under his wing:

“Why did you lie about not having a BSN the first night?”

Her expression went from polite to caught red-handed and she fumbled with her coffee for a moment before regaining hold of herself.

“Let’s just be very straight with each other. I’m not asking to make you uncomfortable and I understand your fear. I just want to be clear going forward—I want you to understand that I’m not a stupid man and I won’t accept lies. I think I can help you figure this out, perhaps even help you find what you’re looking for, but let’s just lay our cards out, shall we?”

Sophie stood. “I’m sorry, maybe I should go. I shouldn’t have come.”

“Sit down,” he said, without moving an inch. “Now, Sophie. Sit down.”

Her stomach felt heavy and her knees were already weak as she slid back down onto her seat.

“Are you in a relationship? Truth—you get one chance to answer honestly.”

“Yes,” she said.

“Your partner is vanilla?”

She nodded.

“Are you sure?”

That confused her. “Yes. I mean, he’s never… done anything or…”

“Have you told him what you wanted?” Kyan asked.

“No,” she answered.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want him to look at me like there’s something wrong with me. Like I’m a pervert,” she said outright. “I couldn’t take it if he was… disgusted by me.”

“If you don’t trust him to accept you as you are, why are you in a relationship with him?”

“It’s complicated, Kyan. It’s just… complicated.” She looked away for a moment, then turned back to him. “I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember and the one time I thought I could tell a boyfriend just a little bit about it, well, let’s just say it didn’t go well and I can still remember how embarrassed I was, how ashamed. I can’t do that again, I can’t go through that again.

“I’m sorry I lied about my BSN and that I may have implied that I was available, or at least if I led you to believe I was. It wasn’t my intention. I just… this is something I can’t get out of my head. I thought if I tried it just once, maybe it wouldn’t be what I fantasized about at all. Maybe it would just go away.”

“So let me make sure I’m understanding this. You’d like to experience this without your partner finding out in the hopes that you will discover it wasn’t what you wanted after all?”

“Yes?” she more asked than answered. They both knew it wasn’t that simple.

Kyan studied her for what seemed like hours, even though it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. He then opened the bottom drawer of his desk and retrieved a leather paddle, setting it on top of the desk between them. She couldn’t peel her eyes from it, the long narrow instrument filling her with fear of the actual pain a spanking entailed even while every conscious part of her wanted nothing other than that very thing.

But she wanted it with Michael.

She met his eyes.

“I don’t know if I agree with how you’re going about this, Sophie. There’s an intimacy that comes with this that maybe you don’t understand. Perhaps your desire for it is too strong and doesn’t allow you to see that logic.”

Her eyes darted once more to the paddle. “Maybe it will hurt so badly I’ll never want it again,” she said nervously. What was she implying? Was she really going there with him? She knew he was right about the intimacy and if she did this, she’d cross a line, perhaps one she could not recover from.

“Would you like me to give you a taste of what you think you want?”


 Yum! It gives me goosebumps.
Here are some places where you can buy it:

Amazon
Amazon UK
Amazon CA
Blushing Books
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Don't forget: Friday! Stop by Celeste Jones' so we can discuss!