I've always been intrigued/ turned on
by the thought of a spanking, being spanked, the threat of being
spanked. I always found it hot and just the thought of it can give me
the tingles.
What's a girl to do with this closet
kink? How does it turn from a closet kink to something active in my
relationship with my husband? When do I stop thinking of it as a
dirty, little, secret kink?
I was trying to compile my thoughts on
this and realized some things may have happened a bit backwards. Like
for instance, my big outpouring confession of coming out of the
spanking closet to my husband actually came after I had already asked
him to spank me.
My husband opted not to have a bachelor
party. He was working in the music industry at the time and was
forced to spend many late nights listening to horrible bands at big,
crowded venues, so he said he would much rather spend a quiet night
at home in our new place with me. I felt a bit guilty because I had a
bachelorette party, and it just didn't seem quite fair to me. I
promised him I would plan something and make it the best bachelor
party anyone ever had.
I was not taking into account that this
was the week of my wedding, we had just moved, and I really gave
myself no time to plan. The day of, I think I bought a giant bottle
of whiskey and dug out some lingerie I hadn't worn in a while. Throw
in watching some internet porn and you have yourself a home made
bachelor party.
The stress, lack of sleep, working,
wedding stuff, moving, and family drama sort of all culminated and we
ended up getting hammered. Both of us, which is rare and this might
be the first and last time that it happened.
Somehow in my drunken state I
communicated to my husband that I wanted him to spank me and he
acquiesced. I also gave him things to spank me with- a hair brush and
a wooden spoon.(I am still blushing at my forwardness.) From what I
remember it was amazing. I mean as much as two drunk people
participating in a first spanking can make it. The next day I woke up
with a monster hang over and giant bruises on my ass. My husband felt
awful. He clearly was not comfortable with the whole experience. I
didn't mind the bruises, I actually felt like they were some sort of
naughty secret I was hiding. The only thing that royally sucked was I
was getting married in 3 days and 4 girls would be helping me get
dressed. To this day I have no idea if any of them saw the purplish
bruises peeking out from my underwear. If they did no one said
anything. I honestly don't know what I would have answered.
This was our big spanking experiment,
and nothing else of the sort happened for another two years. I
remember sitting in our living room, my husband was watching
television and I was reading and it hit me. I will be married to this
man for the rest of my life. That's a long time to not be having the
kind of sex I want. I don't know why it took me two years to have
that thought. Not that the sex was bad, but it was never quite as
kinky as I wanted it to be, or as it was in my head. And I thought
about that one spanking we had together all-the-time! Chances are
anytime we were fooling around that was replaying in my head, but I
never brought it up.
So I confessed about all the smut on my
kindle. My obsession with reading spanking stories. The fact that I
really wanted him to spank me again. This was all met with mild
amusement. The relief that flooded me, I felt so much freer. I also
felt like I really underestimated him and his reaction. I mean I was
still me, the same person, just a little kinkier, asking for some
different needs to be met.
I thank him all the time for being
understanding. He thinks I'm crazy for thinking he wouldn't be. But
I'm sure it happens. I'm sure one half of a couple tries to come out
of the kink closet and they are shot down. I'm just glad it didn't
happen to me.
Thanks for stopping by for my first Round Table Discussion post! Please check out the other author's links on Spanking Romance take part in the rest of the discussion :)
Thanks for stopping by for my first Round Table Discussion post! Please check out the other author's links on Spanking Romance take part in the rest of the discussion :)
Happy for you that it worked out the way you wanted. Raising the subject is the hardest part.
ReplyDelete:) I love you. That is all. I LOVE you. :) Funny way to start - do you have a memory of the spanking itself or is it a blur??
ReplyDeleteSuch a vulnerable feeling confiding ones kink to a loved one. You are so open for hurt disapointment and shame you forget the positives that could come from it. But that vulnerability can be wonderful and the trust that comes from it is amazing
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing story, Casey! I feel like I was let in on an intimate moment. Isn't it crazy to think how long we waited to share our secret?? When I think about how long I waited to ask for what I really wanted I just can't believe it. I'm glad that we are both out of the closet now. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story! I can picture the whole thing, including the whiskey and the bruises on your wedding day. Good for you for broaching the topic...would you still have this fun blog if you hadn't?
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Casey!
ReplyDeleteI can totally picture it too. Even thought it's pretty funny to think about the wedding and the bruises, and the fun night before; I really applaud you on your courage to come out and ask for what you wanted.
I'm so glad he handled it so well. It was pretty scary coming out, and hoping my husband wouldn't shun me.
Good for you!!!!
:)
Thanks Ladies! Cara- bringing it up was the hardest part.
ReplyDeleteNatasha- Right back at ya! And would you expect anything less than a funny start from me? The spanking itself is mostly a blur, I am not even sure how much I remembered the next day. My husband insists I had bruises because he was so drunk he was hitting me with the bristle part of the brush! I don't remember that.
Ashley- Hi! Thanks for stopping by. Putting yourself out there and being vulnerable is so scary, but if I can't be vulnerable with my husband than what do I have?
Corinne- I'm always letting people in on my intimate moments, I don't know how to tell stories without them. I'm so glad I didn't wait any longer to come out of the closet!
ReplyDeleteCeleste- I would not have this blog if it weren't for that!
Katherine- I'm happy for both of us that our husbands didn't shun us :)
I think two years is a short time, considering it took me 18!!!! So glad you asked for what you wanted!
ReplyDeleteand I love you too! :)
Casey, I loved reading your story and all the comments. You were a very brave lady to admit what you wanted knowing (or fearing) that your hubby could be appalled given how he felt after your first attempt. I chuckled at the fact he was mildly amused when you finally confessed your desires. He clearly loves you and wants to do what will make you happy. Best friends as well as lovers.
ReplyDeleteRenee- Those 2 years felt like an eternity, I don't know how you held out 18!! Love you :)
ReplyDeleteKathryn- I'm glad you liked my story :) He does love me and I love him- I think I must have known he's be alright with it. I remember being nervous, but I honestly think I could tell him anything. He was my friend before anything else, I think we will always have that.