Kinky Confessions- of the Drunken Variety

     

     I promised a follow up to the Burlesque show night, I know you were all waiting with bated breath! Well even if you weren't, here it is. Remember, I was taking in tips and moves at the show, I really wanted to put them into action. But then it was Monday (who feels sexy on a Monday?), long story short- shit day at work, horrible mood, and a horny husband. What to do? Well, my husband got me liquored up (not that I needed much convincing) there was some oral (me), there was some spanking (again, me), there was some more oral (him). Fun was had by all!

     I told him I'd give him a raincheck on the whole Burlesque dancing thing, he didn't seem to care anyway. The crux of the story is now I am tired and sated and dopey with alcohol, and I start with the drunken, cringe-worthy, kinky confessions. Sadly, these are regular occurrences for me (how do you think my husband found out I was a spanko??). I say something to the effect of, “We should get some things that you can spank me with.” This is met with silence, and I immediately start wishing I didn't say anything. My husband is not into spanking. Obviously, I totally am into it. He says he likes to spank me because he likes that it turns me on, but it really does nothing for him. So sometimes I don't know how much I should ask for it, do I want it too much? Is this totally one sided and awful for him? And now I have just added more weirdness to the situation by suggesting we purchase some type of implements.

After the long silence (it probably wasn't that long), he says something to the effect of he likes using his hand. I quickly say, okay, that's fine! Truthfully, I'll take it anyway I can get it. We go to sleep, end of story... or so I thought.

     The next day, we are both at work and I get a text from my husband-

           Hubs: Soo, last night you said you wanted me to hit you with something.

Cringe, and blushing, geez, I'm at work!

          Me- Oh, did that happen?

          Hubs- You know it did. What do you want me to hit you with?

Why does he keep saying he's going to hit me? That has an awful connotation, spank is so much hotter.

We go back and forth a few times, me feigning innocence and acting like I don't remember, him not buying it for a second and then he tells me he'll 'get it out of me someway'. What the hell does that mean? Now my pulse is racing and I am thinking of all the delicious ways he can 'get it out of me', I'm guessing this was his intention.

     Later, at home, we're eating dinner and he's grilling me. I am squirming and blushing and really not wanting to talk about this.

     “Why are you getting so embarrassed?” he asks me.

     “I'm not,” lies, just flying out of my mouth, “I just don't want to talk about it.”

He goes on to tell me I am being ridiculous. Didn't I write a book with spanking in it? Don't I blog about our sex life and spanking? True and true. Then what the hell is my problem?

     “It's weird,” and this is the total honest truth, “I feel like a weirdo.” Yes, I feel like this in the light of day, clear headed and sober.

He is having none of this. He starts questioning me about paddles, and riding crops, and floggers and he seems very well-read on all topics.

     “Were you researching this??”

     “Of course,” he answers, matter-of-factly. Because this is my husband, he researches everything, and I totally love this about him. I will buy things on a whim (it was on sale! I had a coupon! Shiny!), he researches the hell out of everything before making a purchase. It's very handy when shopping for a new coffeemaker, blender, or sex toys. He bought me an array of sex toys (all of which I drunkenly, kinky confessed to wanting to try) for my 30^th birthday last summer. As he was showing me the haul, I got the rundown on the reviews of each item, it was sort of adorable.

     So now he's researching spanking implements, I guess there really shouldn't be any doubt in my mind about my husband's willingness to participate in the whole spanking thing.